Tampa News turns tragic tale into uplifting one with brilliant photo choice

By on Mar 12, 2012 in Bad News

The website for the CBS affiliate in Tampa is carrying an Associated Press story about an unfortunate and seemingly accidental death in Northern Florida.

Most news sites carrying the story are doing so without a file photo.  But apparently the folks in Tampa wanted to spice things up a bit, because somebody there chose to compliment the tragic story with a photo that’s surprisingly uplifting.

Local Tampa affiliate turns tragic story into uplifting one (with a little help from Wonderbra.)

Tampa News turns a tragic story into an uplifting one.

Man Dies After Jumping Off Bridge, Struck Boat

SATSUMA, Fla. (AP) — Authorities say a Putnam County man died when he jumped off a bridge and struck a boat.

A report by the Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says 22-year-old Matthew D. Holder of Satsuma died Saturday afternoon. He had landed in the boat after jumping from a bridge.

The Jacksonville Times-Union reports Holder’s friend who jumped with him also struck the boat but fell into the creek. He was not hurt.

The report says both men had been dropped off after being on a boat earlier in the day to get something at the store. They and a third man were on their way to meet the boat again when they stopped on the bridge and jumped.

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

There are a few possible explanations we can think of for how exactly this kind of thing could happen.

The first one involves idiots.  The second involves automation.  The third one involves geniuses.

Actually, there’s several dozen other possible explanations that could make sense of it, now that we think of it.

UPDATE: Early commenters Tampa News website are expressing both fear and outrage, in response to the story.

As one Derek Stutts recently stated:

“Dear Tampa News:

How can you possibly limit this story to the accidental jumping death when there is a 50 FOOT WOMAN WITH GIANT BOOBS ON THE LOOSE, danging helpless men from ropes between her cleavage!

Please investigate this story further! She must be stopped! (And given my phone number!)”

Mr. Gene Johnson, meanwhile, questioned the accuracy of the story;

“Why does this story say it took place in Florida. He’s hanging in front of the Grand Tetons?”

A man who went only by the name of Trey added;

“My gosh.  Wonderbra has a serious problem if men are dying jumping off said location.”

Lastly, one fellow by the name of John proved thirsty for additional details.

“That is certainly the ultimate plunge.
I would like to see more support for this story.
Please don’t leave us wondering what happened to the other half of the pair.
Hopefully the second wasn’t injured by the motorboat.”

Feel free to add YOUR questions and comments to this critically important story.  (Maybe they’ll eventually get around to fixing their mistake.)

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