Introducing

Introducing “Teamwork” – The Winner of the ‘Baton’ Caption Contest

By on Jan 31, 2012 in Contests

Well, folks- our first Caption Contest of the new year is finally over- and you’ve chosen the winner!

Congratulations to Mr. Tim Miller for his winning entry “TEAMWORK – Ensuring that your hard work can always be ruined by someone else’s incompetence.”  For contributing that clever caption, Mr. Miller will soon receive $250 in the mail, courtesy of the Despair marketing department!

But as with any such contest, for every winner, there are dozens of losers.  (Actually, there were thousands!)  But even among those many losing entries, certain designs rose to the very top- by sinking to the very bottom.  We’d like to recognize just a few of the ones you rated in bottom 50- entries which, for a variety of reasons, prompted painful spasms of laughter from our writing crew.  These Losers, by virtue of their brazen OTHERNESS, have been declared Winners!

(Of a sort. The sort that win no prizes.  The sort that just get held up for special ridicule. That sort.)

See if you agree!

"Enter Your Blast Forces You Will Give To Fall!" - Winner: Best Line That Never Made It Into "Zero Wing" Award

The author had 11 entries in the Bottom 100.  And this isn’t their only one we loved enough to recognize. Keep reading!


"You Can't Drop What You Can't Pick Up!" - Winner: Speaking-of-dropping-the-baton Award
No matter how simple the instructions are, we always get dozens of entries like this! Tragic!


"Everybody wants one!" - Winner: Best Attempt to Literalize What Should be Allegorized Award.

 This is the kind of entry that comes from a mind that has spent a lifetime writing copy for an advertising agency. Please… Read some poetry sometime!


"Baton or Ball, It's Going to Get Dropped." - Winner: Gloria Steinem Award

 This one received a surprising number of “5″ ratings on the 1-5 scale for some weird reason. Uhmmmmm. Yeah.


"You are to track and field what a texas governor is to debate. Well at least millions of people weren't watching you... actually there were! Oops." - Winner: Best Use of a Politically-Axegrinding Non-Sequitur Award.

Not exactly an aphorism likely to end up in the Bartlett’s Book of Quotations…  But of those with a political bent- and there were hundreds of such entries, this one managed to make us smile.  Except for our accountant, Ted Blundt. He was pissed about it. Don’t get him started.


"You Have Just Found Out Which Means Absolute Failure." - Winner: Best Accidental Use of Irony While Using Google Translator Award.

Yes. This was from the same author of the Zero Wing entry above.  He also wrote ”TIMELINESS - Having missed his chance when he came close, to flee for them farther pointless.” and “INTERDEPENDENCE - Alien luck in store for you in complete failure.”  We look forward to his future contributions!


So there you have it!  Our first Caption Contest of 2012 is at end!  But guess what! You can nurse your disappointment by captioning our latest (and we think most promising) new Caption Contest image!

And after you’re done with that, why not start voting on on last week’s submissions!

 

 

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